Dead Ends

  Reading and hearing a lot of friends down on their luck. I hear a lot “it’s a dead end” referencing different aspects of their troubles.   I have come to a lot of dead end roads myself, I drive right on through because exciting things are over there yonder and I want to see them, you gotta think around the end of the road. There is something on the other side. Swat your path through the trees and thorn bushes, you will always find a river. Follow that river down stream and you will find light. 

  For every problem there is a solution, if there weren’t God would not have put the problem in your path. Your problem is there it’s God trying to help you help yourself. Your problem either makes you stronger, smarter, and to be making thought out choices. If you have a life obstacle then whatever it takes to remove it, is what you currently DON’T have. He wants you to get what you need to live a happy life. God wants you to dig deep find your balls and acquire the skills needed to get through, away, or around this obstacle. 

  Believe in yourself you can do it, I don’t care if you have five bucks in your pocket. If you put positive energy out to those around it will come back to you and give you what you need. The tricky part is knowing your way out when you see it. That’s what God wants for you. 

Find your dead end sign and mow that thing down!

Be kind

Hold a door for someone

Smile more

Be honest

Don’t gossip 

Do more than what’s expected of you

Respect others they have been chosen to be in your life for a reason or a lesson

Repetitive bad choices are nothing more than you not trying to take the hard road

Take the hard road, nothing good comes from the easy one 

Better yourself by using your mind, common sense, and grit

Dig deep

Ask for help 

Work hard 

Do for others 

And stay the course… Don’t look back don’t turn back, you aren’t going that way..

You got this, I promise…

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Time and Tide 

This past week has been a bit unfocused… After much discussion with John about the pros and cons between money, and happiness, I decided to not be a stay at home fur kid mom and return to the cafe. Luckily the cafe crew welcomed me back enthusiastically with open arms.. I need to be with people, I have the type of personality that is best expressed interacting with folks. The customers were beyond excited to have me back and that gave me a sense of pride in what I do for them and a feeling of belonging. My dreams of working from home are not completely dashed I simply was not happy with the work I was doing…                 

 We have been working so hard making the Florida home inviting, cozy and beautiful. Thinking about I just spent a couple years doing the same thing to the cabin in Maine I believe I am done on the house ownership, two is enough! But how blessed are we to have a home in Maine and Florida which we can visit whenever we want to? Both homes of which I love and feel peace at, but I will forever be a Mainer! Returning there very shortly actually and looking forward to it! I have found parts of myself here on this Florida journey that I never knew existed. It’s been one of personal growth, gain of self confidence, love, and a few extra pounds around the belly. Florida was a chance that, looking back, would have been an immense loss in my life had I not taken it. It was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. My only loss in this journey was constant physical contact with my family and though that crushed me to the ground on some days, we are all trying to adjust. I miss the kids….                  

On an even heavier note, one of most cherished friends lost her daughter this past week, car accident. Beautiful 17 year old child, life hadn’t even begun for this young lady and to have it end so early, raises so many questions in my mind and soul. So many questions, I’ve always had a deep well of them but as I get older the depth gets deeper and deeper. Not being able to run to my friend with open arms having been so far away at the time, was indescribable. I am a caregiver, a fixer, nurturer by nature when someone I love is in pain. To not be near Beth, during the darkest moment of her life, was a very helpless feeling. Godspeed Neve and may your mom and family find peace, in time.. You are not gone, but simply waiting for the reunion! 

I hope you all live the way you want and need to to be happy, please take care of your health, I wish I had, be humble, all the wealth in the world cannot change your character if you are truly humble.. Be kind, you have no idea what anyone is going through.. 

When customers are rude to me I want to ask them why? But the reality is, they have to answer to much higher than myself, for how they conduct themselves here on earth.. 

Much love going out this week to all that need it… 

Bullying:Stop the Silence

So this week I’m going to write about something different than I had originally mentioned. It’s been brought to my attention that at my nephews elementary school in Maine that there is a no tattling policy. I have not called the school to get the details on this policy but from what I’m told if something happens to you at school and you bring it to the teachers attention you are reprimanded because it falls under the no tattling policy. Yet we are flooding the news and encouraging our children to stand up for themselves if they are being bullied to let an adult know. Yet now at this particular school that if they do so they fall under a policy where they get into trouble??Again I’m writing without details which is a big no-no but hoping for some more insight from my readers in that community. I am very perplexed by this. 

From the time I was in kindergarten to the time I graduated high school I was bullied. Elementary school was the worst I wish I could name names, that time period still haunts me today and it actually shaped and formed the adult I became. I’ve always been self critical, had a very low self-esteem, felt like I never measured up to anybody else, my clothes weren’t right, my hair wasn’t right, my make up wasn’t right, or I wasn’t smart enough. All of these things made for a difficult start to my adulthood. That start lasted well over 20 years. I learned from an early age I made people laugh, in a good way. I had one thing going for me, I was funny. And I used that skill, I honed it, I perfected it, I spit shined it daily as my weapon but also as my asset, to gain friends. Real ones…

It is only been since my late 30s and early 40s that I even began to successfully chip away at these layers of insecurity. And I’m still not there, still at 43 I am very self-critical. I attribute and blame years and years of bullying and being put down and made fun of to all the negative that I see in myself.

I do not wish this on any child and I do not wish any child to grow into the emotional wreck of an adult that I did.

I had many friends and still do to this day but when you are the target you feel very alone, you feel isolated, and that nothing or no one can fix it, not even you. 

Later in life I did come to realize that talking to someone did help but it’s hours of talking it’s digging deep and it’s hard work. So to know in this day and age that there is a no tattling policy that prevents children from letting someone know that something is happening to them has been eating away at me, because I just do not understand it. If the policy is simply to cover those children that do tattle because someone is using the wrong color crayon I understand that, I understand that with young children tattling might make the teacher feel like she’s being pecked by a flock of birds. However if this is a broad policy then it needs to be amended, if children are being bullied they need to know there’s a safe place, an outlet, a resource available to which they can go and discuss the situation and not be reprimanded for doing so. 

If you are a parent who does not think that your child is capable of picking on or bullying another, and you know as a child that you were not perfect and that as adults we are not perfect, then please accept and recognize it could be anybody’s child doing this, and that’s where it needs to start, in order to stop it. This starts at home, and it needs to and there.

Some days I am so disappointed and feel so helpless at what the world has become and I lose hope that it will ever change. People ask me if I have children, my reply is no I am not able to have kids, and some look at me with pity, and some of the more seasoned parents laugh and tell me I can have there’s any day I want. Though we all know any loving parent would never give me their child… LOL 

There are days when I feel like I missed out and I would’ve been a good parent and then there are times like this when I see the world for what it is and I am glad that I do not have them. Today it takes a very strong, involved, and dedicated person to be a parent, and I truly stand in awe of all of you that are. They say that offshore crab fishing is the hardest and scariest job there is. I beg to differ, I believe the hardest job, the most heart wrenching job, and definitely the scariest, is that of being a parent in today’s chaotic and most dangerous world.

Please stop, look and listen… It starts and ends with you… 

Be kind and stay humble… 

Twisted Wishes

They tell me I’m 43 years old, according to my birth certificate anyway, the doctor that delivered me is long dead and gone so who knows if this document is even accurate! That’s the story i’m going with. 
When did I get this old? I can’t remember everything that happened between then and now, then, being yesterday, which clearly is when I must have turned 43. What happened to 33? Or 23? Oh, wait, I remember 23, good times my friend good times!!! I can’t remember where the years have gone, I may have been drunk for a few but certainly not twenty of them? Ok, not for fifteen of them then. This isn’t a free for all open forum, shut the door and sit back down! 

Friends will say “remember that time when” and I play along because I don’t want to discard the value of our memories and because I have no effin clue as to what they are taking about! Beuller… Beuller… Beuller…

I never was one to wish the time away or to wish that I was older or that I wanted to reach a certain age. This isn’t my wish, I didn’t make this wish, there has been some sort of clerical error here, I’d like to speak to the genie on duty, I want a complete refund. 

I never used to be tired, I used to be agile and athletic, now I feel like the gold medal winner at the geriatric Olympics if I can just get out of bed without hurting my back. I used to buy $160 shoes even if they were too small because hell, sore feet were a fair trade off for looking fabulous! Now I sleep on a $160 scientifically engineered pillow so I can look both ways at stop lights… 

My perfect eyesight has been reduced to wearing my glasses while simultaneously looking into the extra magnified side of the mirror just to pluck an eyebrow. This wasn’t my wish? What’s going on here?  

I weighed 112lbs my entire life, I went to bed one night and woke with 112lb legs, I still have the rest of my body to account for, so obviously I’m the lead role in a low budget Sci-fi mini series, only, there’s nothing mini about it.. NOTHING I SAID! 

They have called me a cougar, I was honored! I love animals especially big cats! To have my beauty and sleek, streamlined figure compared to that of one of God’s most attractive creatures, what a compliment I thought!! Then I googled “female cougar” just to admire my self reflective animal… I found that I am only lacking the fire engine red lipstick… That was a very emotionally damaging moment for me, as I do not have the proper skin tone for red.. What to do, what to do….

If any of this sounds familiar do not panic!!! There millions of infomercials on between the hours of 2 and 6 a.m. providing all sorts of memory loss pills, senior citizen foam mattresses, special pillows and wrinkle creams!! Those being the hours I used to be asleep but now I’m up to pee and worried about how I’m gonna rock another day…

Next week we’ll discuss the incurable, behavioral disorders of the male species! Thanks for stopping by the cracked mind of Nikki Sprinkles, one girl, everyone’s journey… (direct quote from loyal reader and friend, BeviJo Pinkham) 

Stay kind, stay humble, and stay out of the fast lane! 

Undercover Hooch 

We all have that one little thing in our lives that is a bad habit that someone who loves us doesn’t want us to do. 

It could be anything from booze bagging it, to smoking cigarettes, or smoking something else, or in my case, eating donuts.

My love for homemade doughnuts started as a child when my grandmother Verna Norton used to make them the old-fashioned way. This is an art that has been lost over the generations. These little gems of sugary, carb packing, fat ass pills have become so rare these days, that substitutes like a Dunkin’ Donuts or Krispy Kreme have taken their place and made it way too easy to get your hands on this Satan sugar. 

Several of my friends have things they are not supposed to do and fully believe as do I, that our diabolical mind games are a complete success… We know these things are bad yet we just cannot help ourselves. I call them “undercover hooch”. As with any bad habit, denial is the first stage and stage two which is acceptance is well, just plain outrageous! 

“Just this one last time I swear then I’ll quit!”

Alas, when you find yourself hiding behind the dumpster at Dunkin’ Donuts shoving a honey glazed in your face on your way home from work and disposing of all evidence, (I’m a frequent flyer at the DD dumpster) it’s kind of hard to deny that you have a problem. 

When you have a friend who isn’t supposed to smoke, it’s like being on an episode of Dateline Real Life Mystery, the cloak and dagger intrigue of you and your felonious partner in crime trying to hide the undeniable truth.  Standing suspiciously behind a sign, a door, or a 6 foot 250 pound bouncer sneaking a puff as fast as you can thus causing a head rush. Don’t forget to douse in Bath & Body Works spray and always, ALWAYS be packing the fresh breath gum… 

As friends we all giggle and provide by whatever means necessary the hooch that the other so desperately needs at that moment. That’s what friends are for! Yes, friends are the most common enablers in this undercover world.

So if you find yourself hiding behind a tree, the jukebox, or in an out house, eating donuts, smoking cigarettes, or taking a haul off the bottle, now is the time to ask “am I outa control?” Assuredly if you are peeking around trying not to get caught, have a designated lookout on the clock and are trying, most likely with epic failure, to distract said undercover police, the answer is yes. 

Seek an immediate support group and don’t trust your friends to discontinue the charade, because they will every time you ask! 

The reality is we’re not hiding anything, whoever isn’t supposed to find out already knows, and always has! Inevitably sooner or later the cops are going to ask what you were doing with your suspicious behavior in these quite obvious locations, which at the time appear to be the most brilliant of all your villainous ideas. 

With the highest level of curiosity I ask, what’s your “undercover hooch?” 

Talk Nice To It

One of the millions of phrases used by Mainers is “you gotta talk nice to it”. Commonly used when your vehicle won’t start and requires you to simultaneously place your pinky finger on your nose, hold your thumb out the window, keep one eye ball in the rear view, one foot on the gas and any free appendages turning the key in the ignition.

This phrase “you gotta talk nice to it” is also a freely used expression when your laundry washing machine is vibrating across the room like an old steam train and it won’t shut off even when you pull the plug from the outlet, that’s right about when talking nice to it should be reconsidered and your local exorcist should be googled with their immediate assistance requested. Until such time, push the machine out on the front lawn like everyone else does, right next to the old freezer and last summer’s broken Walmart pool neither of which have been fully operational in three years. Carry on with your day by doing your laundry at your mother in law’s house, which conveniently sits 50 yards from your back door. Why sack your dirty laundry to her house you ask? Well, because she wants to feel needed, they love dirty laundry and more than anything, deep down, they want you to fail as the only woman in their son’s life that’s why.

lawnmower
“Son of B**ch!”

 

When your lawn mower spits unknown liquids and projectiles at you like a pissed off farm goose and lurches you both into the rhubarb patch like a disobedient mule, because you didn’t have the common sense or wits about you to let go of the handle, and when it coughs out a mushroom cloud of blue toxic smoke mimicking the old 1965 Ford Falcon my parents had when I was a child, the most common advice given in Maine would be “you gotta talk nice to it”.

You can also try this age old Maine remedy on your wife. For example, you go out to the VFW on Friday evening after a long week at work and come home around 11pm, and she’s madder than a wet hen and spitting nails in the kitchen. You can go with the most recently popular, “I didn’t have a signal” or, “I was only staying for one but Fred’s wife left him, again, for that young fellah that works at the Burger King, I felt guilty leaving him there alone” or you can certainly try “talking nice to it”, but I wouldn’t recommend it…

65_falcon93_f15090_b2200_004_18694939_std
Identical to mom and dad’s old 65 Falcon, where gas masks and open windows were required for every ride

 

Maine, the way life should be!

Stay positive and have a blessed week!

 

 

 

Photo credits:

terryandwallaceparts.com

edhat.com

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